I Mustache you A Question! Most FAQ and most Ridiculous Questions We Were Asked While Hiking the Appalachian Trail, and our ridiculous answers.
Q: Where are you from?
Q: So you’re hiking home huh?
A: Yeah… (insert awkward laughter as we are thinking we don’t really have a home now and Katahdin is 6 hours north of where our home was)
A: Probably put her up for adoption. (awkward stares and nodding all around)
Q: What did you do with the dog in the Smokies?
A: We actually gave her to a shelter and luckily she was still there when we finished.
Q: Why does the dog eat?
A: (long pause- deep breath, I got to be nice on this one). Well, the same reason everyone eats. We need food to give us energy to do stuff.
Q: What kind of dog is she?
A: part lab, part mountain goat.
Q: How do you guys eat? Kill squirrels and stuff?
A: Yes. And then we dehydrate them and eat them. We try to find the fattest squirrel.
A: A fellow hiker threw their thermarest seat in the fire, while other hikers were sitting on soggy pieces of cardboard.
A: (both of us look at each other confused) no
Questioner then states, “Oh, you guys are both wearing blue so I thought you may be sisters.”
A: Not unless you’re talking about my arms, also known as guns in some cultures.
Q: What about the bears?
A: it was a great skit done by SNL, and a well known football team.
Q: You’re doing the whole thing?!
A: That’s the plan. No one plans on picking me up. The ride to Georgia was pretty long. Probably just better to walk. A lot more interesting this way too.
A: That’s the goal, not just going to give up now. Ok, walked to Maine, let’s just call it good here, come back another time, even though we just spent about 6 months of hiking. I couldn’t bare another few weeks.
Q: Oh that’s a good idea, do you the have the dog carrying your stuff too?
A: Yeah, she’s carrying all the kibble we eat.
Q: What is the Appalachian Trail?
A: (Long pause- bite tongue) Well, it’s a trail that runs from Georgia to Maine. Thousands attempt to hike it every year.
Q: Wow, 2189 miles do you think anyone has ever done it? (looking at a sign, where a bunch of thru hikers are sitting next to)
A: (hikers all look in astonishment and nod rapidly) Yes, lots. We are doing just that.
Q: What about showers?
A: What about them?
Q:When did you start?
A: End of March
Q: Whoa, so you’re behind huh?
A: Behind what?
Q: Did you tell your dog you were hiking the Appalachian Trail?
A: Yes, but I’m not sure if she understands English that well.
Q: Does sex attract bears?
A: Only the ones who just finished reading 50 Shades of Grey.
Q: Did you see a lot of snakes?
A: Yes. I tried using them for my Britney Spears “I’m a slave for you” impression but it failed.
Q: What made you want to hike the trail?
A: I lost a bet.
Q: What did you have to do if you won?
Q: Any regrets, or anything you would change?
A: Maybe get a fitbit next time.